What women really want to say when asked “Why are you still single?”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked “why are you still single?”. In part, i wonder if I’m asked this question because of the dominant misconception that marriage (or even a relationship) is something that women should aspire to achieve OR if guys are just perplexed that someone as cool as I is as single as a one dollar bill. Whatever the case, I’m super single and very much content with my relationship status. To be honest, being single is pretty cool.

“Why are you still single?” is such a loaded question and depending on the person asking can have different implications. I’ve spent some time thinking about the answer to this question and will share some of the answers women don’t normally give guys but are definitely thinking when asked the infamous and dreaded “why are you still single?”.

1. Because I purposely date guys who are emotionally unavailable so that I don’t have to worry about having/expressing major feelings…but can still get the benefits of a relationship…

Photo cred: unknown

We’ve all been there before. Dating people who we know are clearly not ready for anything serious for whatever reason, but that works for us because neither are we so you just coast and gloss over “real” feelings stuff because the more you spend time with this person the more you realize they aren’t “the one” anyway. Nonetheless, you enjoy the time spent and entertainment so you stay involved for the pleasure it brings.

2. Because I’m emotionally unavailable (for whatever reason) and don’t want to waste anyone’s time…

This is pretty much the same as above except it has more to do with your internal reasoning for being single. Could be that you’re still in love with your ex… have things that you prioritize more than a relationship (like graduating from your PhD program 😳 lol)… or you don’t want to open up the “feelings doors” because you’ve built up a wall from previous relationship disappointments. Whatever your reasoning you have to spend some time to get clarity and resolve it so that you can begin to engage in healthy relationships again – when ready of course.

3. Because none of the guys that I’ve dated have moved me to the point where I wanted to be in a relationship with only them…

Just because you date doesn’t mean that it has to turn into a relationship. Sometimes that’s not the best course of action. The worst thing you can do is settle with someone you have no business being with for the sake of having a relationship. That’s lame! Date and date often! Date until someone really piques your interest. Know yourself, set standards for your future partner, and keeping living life until you encounter someone who checks your boxes.

4. Because I’m crazy, self-centered, not really interested in being in a relationship right now…

The flat out truth! Next…

Photo cred: Unknown

5. Because the guys that I like either have girlfriends OR are still playing the field

🙄 I’ll just let this sit here…… it’s all about timing, right?

6. Idk. You tell me. Please be man whisperer and let me know what’s going on in the psyches of this generation’s men

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear!

Until next time,

5 thoughts on “What women really want to say when asked “Why are you still single?”

  1. Anna says:

    I’m guessing real dating doesn’t actually occur until you get until your 20s? Ugh, I’m so sick of people my age. None of them want anything mature or real. Jokes on me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • naturallyalescia says:

      It really depends on the person you’re dating. “Real dating” is sometimes hard to come by even in your 20s 😳😣 , but I will say people have different definitions of “real dating”. To prevent wasting time, you have to make sure/be very intentional in connecting with a person who shares your definition of dating. It will be very annoying at times so just focus on building friendships with folks and allow that to take your feelings places. Thanks for your thoughts ☺


  2. candicesymonemoves says:

    Awesome post! I def can relate. I’m pushing 30 and to reprogram my mind to stop thinking something was wrong with me for being “alone”. So many of my friends have settled for “just some guy” and arent living to their greatest potential as a result! It’s so important to discuss this…thank you!


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